‘Right now I feel ok but more so that I am surviving not thriving’: experiences of parenting with a current or ex-partner with borderline personality disorder
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(Published version)
Date
2025
Authors
Pascoe, C.
Oxlad, M.
Sawyer, A.
Bartsch, D.R.
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Journal article
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Advances in Mental Health, 2025; 1-19
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Claire Pascoe, Melissa Oxlad, Alyssa Sawyer, Dianna R. Bartsch
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Abstract
Objective: Parenting with a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be both challenging and rewarding. Characteristics of BPD include inconsistent behavioural responses to stress, and difficulties in interpersonal relationships and understanding one’s own and others’ mental states, which can lead to challenging relational environments. Family members of people with BPD can experience increased burden, grief, and their own mental health concerns. Despite this, little research exists regarding the experiences of people who parent with a person with BPD. Therefore, we aimed to explore people’s experiences of parenting with a current or ex-partner with BPD to gain insight into their wellbeing and support needs. Method: Four people shared their experiences through semistructured interviews or a qualitative online survey. Individual experiences were described in case studies and collective experiences analysed using reflexive thematic analysis. Results: Five common themes were generated: (1) ‘Increased Responsibility’, (2) ‘Self-care Suffers’, (3) ‘Information and Supports are Lacking or Self-initiated’, (4) ‘Relational Challenges’ and (5) ‘Importance of Love, Connection, Understanding and Acceptance’. Discussion: This study contributes valuable information about parenting in the context of BPD and hopes to inform future research and service provision to optimise appropriate support and facilitate positive outcomes for families. The findings demonstrate the need for family-focused practice that includes current partners in the treatment of people with borderline personality disorder and tailored parenting interventions. Information and support should also be provided for people who parent with an ex-partner who has borderline personality disorder.
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© 2025 The Author(s). Published by Informa UK Limited, trading as Taylor & Francis Group This is an Open Access article distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives License (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/), which permits non-commercial re-use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original work is properly cited, and is not altered, transformed, or built upon in any way. The terms on which this article has been published allow the posting of the Accepted Manuscript in a repository by the author(s) or with their consent.